Nobody Knows

Nobody knows how much I feel for you because… I’ve never spoken of you to anyone. You remember we met when I turned up for that fake interview in your store. We had to speak for a minimum of thirty minutes so no one would be suspicious. I was an undercover investigator and you were the store manager. Instead we spoke for over an hour in your office and I felt like we’d known each other for ever.

Wish I’d told her how I felt, then maybe she’d be here right now, but
Instead
I pretended I’m glad you went away
These four walls closing more everyday
And I’m dyin’ inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I’m cryin’ inside
And nobody knows it but me
Why didn’t I say, the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin’ down

You couldn’t have been more than about nineteen and I only a little older. You had brown eyes that warmed over when you laughed. A smile that sometimes seemed sad and at other times seemed so welcoming. Your hair tucked back behind your ear. It sometimes came loose and I tucked it back for you. Your chocolate skin gleamed in the spring sunshine.

I can say it so clearly, but you’re nowhere around
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin’ about the love that we had
And I’m missin’ you
And nobody know it but me
I carry a smile when I’m broken in two
And I’m nobody without someone like you
I’m tremblin’ inside
And nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it’s a quarter past three
I’m screamin’ at night if I thought you’d hear me
Yeah, my heart is callin’ you
And nobody knows it but me

I worked for seven days straight in your store, reporting back to you at the end of the shift in little bars tucked away in obscure little streets. Those few hours the only thing to look forward to in an otherwise boring assignment.

How blue can I get, you could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it’s been torn all apart
A million words couldn’t say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I’ll be lovin’ you still
The nights are lonely the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin’ about the love that we had
And I’m missin’ you
And nobody knows it but me
Yeah, Ohh, uhh, whoa, omom
Nobody, nobody, but me
Tomorrow morning I’m hittin’ the dusty road
Gonna find you where ever, ever you might go
And I’m gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me

That last night I asked you out and we went far from your town. I should have know something was up. I took you to an Argentinean restaurant just off Regent Street. After the steaks, we danced in the club till the early hours. Finally we ended up at my place. We made love all night, never sleeping until the dawn caught us. We watched the sun come up and then you told me. Your lips moved but I couldn’t hear you over the rush of blood in my head. It wasn’t just my last night at the store was it? It was yours too. You were flying out on Monday to be married.

Yeah, sad when the nights are lonely
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin’ about the love that we had
And I’m missin’ you
And nobody knows it but me

I looked for you in the years since. My not inconsiderable resources and experience went into finding you. For all my knowledge of how to find people that don’t want to be found, I was never able to find you. I still wonder what happened to you. Did you get married? Do you have children? Are you happy?

Nobody knows.

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